“Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.” ~Voltaire
AHOY! Coincidentally the day after my return from California I find myself over flowing with the need to write. We’re here.. the day that my writer’s block subsides. For an unknown reason I haven’t been inclined to write at all. About anything. Anywhere. I have been keeping a journal for most of my life and even that has been neglected since the start of this year. I just couldn’t shake it.. but now my fingers are buzzing. Waiting to tap tap tap away until my boss asks me if i’m doing anything that has to do with work. No boss, I’m not. And although this wont enrich your life in anyway..it will mine.
I don’t even know the point of this post actually. I do know I haven’t been feeling me. When this year was approaching I made a board, wrote down all the things that I want to happen in 2016, and I put my shoes on to hit the ground running. 1/1/2016. Came and went. Here I was, still standing behind the ribbon. Green means go Nora.. GO! Ah, if all was so simple. In the lieu of me complaining about the dreary lost-ness I’ve been feeling, I thought I should write a bit of the good I know. I guess this is more of a personal reiteration. Here are some of the things I know, I live by, and that help get me out of a funk..
Be easy on yourself! We are our own worst critic. I am a wildly over analytical person so this is the hardest for me to do. Even as I sit here and write this a voice is whispering in the back of my mind that it will all just sound stupid. SHHHH!! No. I am smart. I am intelligent. I AM FUCKING AWESOME!.Being easy on yourself is awesome. If you aren’t nice to you, you’re already striking yourself out. Self love is totally important and essential to happiness and success. The more you beat yourself up about things the more your brain is training itself to repeat these patterns every time you feel stressed. Take this into account though, YOU’RE A HUMAN BEING! How amazing is that? Do you know what comes along with being human? Mistakes. Mhm you heard me, we all make them. I can’t tell you how many times things I’ve done left me shaking my head and cursing at myself. Of course we all strive to be aware of our mistakes and improve where we can, but its never a good thing to beat yourself up for it all the time. In reality, we’re all here trying to do the best we can. The worst decision you have ever made was made with positive intent (I’d hope). Your brain often times loves to make up stories about how much of an idiot you are but don’t let it. The next time this happens take a deep breath and focus on the positive things you do. There are PLENTY of people out there willing to beat you down, don’t make yourself one of them.
Live in the moment! Don’t just show up for life, LIVE it. Be present. Enjoy the show. Eat the cake. Dance the dance. Write the essay. Smell the flowers. Call the girl who you want to call. Don’t worry about the past, don’t wonder of the future. None of that is relevant at any given moment. What you should be focused on is NOW. When you focus on now, you give all of your attention to the task at hand and stop worrying about outcome. This usually leads to a more meaningful outcome and a prolonged sense of accomplishment. Instead of hoping for tomorrow, why not savor the minute you’re in? LIVE the life you’re in. Wanting quantity in time is much less valuable than making the moment a quality one. When you train yourself to live in the moment, you begin to see the beauty that any moment could hold. You learn how to manage your energy and put it into one thing. You learn how to laugh louder. You learn how to breath deeper. Of course this doesn’t mean to go all wild and not set goals for the future, but enjoy the journey as you’re getting there. If you don’t stop and think about where you are and what you’re doing, you’re probably missing the point of it. Living in the now also helps you pay better attention to the small things and cultivate more positive experiences.
Trust your gut! And how many times have you heard that? The brain and the heart get so much credit for the impact they have on our decision making process. But what about the gut?! Usually one either makes a decision using their brain aka “logic and rationality”, or using their heart aka “emotions and feelings”. So what does the gut provide us? Intuition. Instinct. The gut is the house of all of your energy. Traditional medicine in many cultures believe all sickness and disease is first manifested in the gut (look it up, get healthy). Regardless of all that mumbo jumbo, the intuition and instinct that we experience in our body is often better at resolving issues and decision making than our silly mind or heart. Our gut is arguably the best tool us humans have. You feel when someone is lying in your gut. You feel like you’re in a bad situation in your gut. You feel like you will end up with that boy in your gut. You just have a gut feeling that the job you want is going to call you back. You just know. Think of your gut as a filter for the heart and mind. You eat up all that logic and emotion just to have your gut filter out junk and only soak up what it needs, what YOU need. Listen to it.
Cultivate friendships! Life is nothing if not for the people we experience it with. So get out there and get you some friends! Hang out with the new girl on the block, talk to the person alone at the bar, take a paint class and engage everyone. What ever or how ever you want to make them, make as many friends as you can. That being said, you have to be a person worth being a friend to. What is the best quality a friend can have? Loyalty. Now I don’t mean some grand gesture of protecting me or something, loyalty is just knowing someone has your back. If your boyfriend breaks your heart, will I be there at 2AM with ice cream? Fuck yeah, two flavors! When you get fired from a job? When you’re hired? Up down and around.. friends should be there for the good and the bad times. This is where TRUST starts to take its tole. I have always had such a hard time trusting people, as any millennial female would say i’m sure. Trust is earned though, and not given.. so earn it! I try my absolute best to cultivate trust in any of my relationships. I expect my friends to do the same. I work to build trust through proving my loyalty. This all comes in due time though, as I said it is earned. Be open, be vulnerable. Teach things. Learn things. Friends are amazing things to have. Some one who has a whole heap of life experience that differentiates from yours. Have as many as you can, and cultivate those relationships.
Worry about yourself In my mind, the most important of all. I have never felt an inclination to worry about other people. Why? Why do I care what you’re doing..shes doing..hes doing. I don’t honestly. What I do and should care about is ME. Don’t worry about how much further ahead that person is, worry about yourself getting ahead. Don’t be concerned with the car that dude is driving, worry about YOU getting a better one. Who gives two flying fucks about how many men walk in and out of your neighbors house? Stop fantasizing over someones life because of their Instagram. Stop watching celebrity snap chat videos and swooning. Cut that shit out. At the end of the day, it is YOUR mind that you have to live with. Worrying about anyone other than yourself is just distracting. Its energy that you could be putting forth on an effort that deserves your focus. The next time you find yourself worrying about someone else, think of something you need and could have. Or something you wanted to do but haven’t. Or a place you’d like to go. ANYTHING besides focusing on what someone else is doing, has, or is. You should be your biggest and ONLY concern.
So there we have it, my 5 quintessential “get through life” tips. No I don’t intend to ram any of this into your brains. I needed a little pick-me-up and my fingers were itching for some guidance writing. If you take all or nothing from this its one in the same. I, however, feel way better after writing this.. and so my job here is done.